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PREVIEW: White Star Liner

News just in
Months of pain and grinds
Hard dull work
Have filled the countries minds
To answer one simple question
Shall we expropriate the farms and mines
The banks, the trains
The energy, railway lines?

It’s August 30 2018. the constitutional review committee reports to parliament – no land will be expropriated. The land in held by the government will be availed on a use it or lose it licence. Private property rights will be upheld; no matter the historical acquisition thereof. The Rand strengthens. The markets applauds the government. News agencies hail it as yet another victory for South African democracy. Analysts say this is in line with the sentiment of the majority of South Africans; as over 80% of them in online polls expressed negative sentiments towards land expropriation without compensation.

Of course this causes bone deep dissatisfaction with the youth on the ground. They cannot believe it. They’re completely bewildered. The youth, in a surprising twist, call for the return of former president Gedleyihlekisa Zuma to lead them to nirvana.

Msholozi, Msholoz’
Sal jy die mense kom lei?
Msholozi, Msholoz’
Nxamalala, Nxamalal’
Soos een man, sal ons om jou val
Baba wethu Msholozi

Not being one to not heed the call of the people, Msholozi points to all that has happened since leaving office, the signals from Mama like Shamba, and concludes that the only thing that can turn the tide is the immediate implementation of Radical Economic Transformation – with him at the helm, obviously. Therefore he immediately reinstates himself as the President of the Republic of South Africa.

Finally, thankfully
We have reached Fanon’s abyss
Things are falling apart;
Centre politics can no longer hold
Rightwing anarchy is loosed upon the world
Only one option left: Left
The kaffir will no longer hear the baas
I have therefore come to the decision
To reinstate myself as President of the Republic with immediate effect

But because haters will always hate, a group of white people decide that enough is enough. A leader emerges from these disgruntled masses: General Markus Del Rey. He organises them through powerful rhetoric, unmatched since the days of Marcus Garvey. They petition the world and the European Union hears their loud and affecting calls. And as it did with the Israel settler state it says there’s plenty of brown people’s land in Europe it can annex to create a new republic; Boereland. Markus, like his namesake from the Caribbean, builds a ship – the White Star Liner – to take them all back home.

Le rona ‘tshaba sa ratshweunyana
Ke lobaka re huraletse Europa
Beng ba lehatshe je ba re jetse meno
Ba re re igagapeletse tsotlhe tse di hano
Jaanong a le rona re re; maropeng go a boelwa.

White Star Liner plays for one night only on 12 July 2018 during the Free State Arts Festival at the ATKV Boeke-Oase Tent in the University of the Free State. The show starts at 17:30, tickets sell for R25 each at Computicket.

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